A nasty breakup

Well, I finally heard back from Denton, and let's just say he's not happy about being dumped. I checked my phone after practice, and I saw seven missed calls from Denton.

When I called him back, all I heard was just a lot of screaming and shouting. It took 15 minutes before I could get a word in, and even then it just sent him into another fit of yelling, calling me a liar, a shithead, a jerk and a user...this went on for over 45 minutes before I had to hang up.

A few minutes after I did, I got a message: "You're going to be sorry for what you did." I don't know what he means, and I'm kind of worried now.

What am I going to do?

It's done.

I've been home for less than 48 hours, and after having lost almost two straight nights of sleep about it...I decided to dump Denton.

I sent him a text, but he hasn't returned my message. It feels awful, but it's gotta be done.

As for the PDL team, they're willing to give me a tryout. I have to focus on that now, what's done is done.

Bye, Denton...I'm sorry.

Spotted!

Just when I thought things were going well, shit seems to happen.

The semester was over, and Denton and I wanted to go catch an LA Galaxy game before I headed home for the summer (and a PDL contract, probably...), but I got careless, and didn't think that anyone I knew would go to an LA Galaxy game, too. And guess what? My chem TA is a supporter of the team, and saw me at the game with him.

Or at least I think she did...or maybe I was hidden behind the beer stand? I don't know, but I'm freaking out here. I just don't know what to do.

I can't just keep this up, and I know it hurts, but I don't know if I can keep Denton around any more.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas has been awesome. Mom got me a new PSP with FIFA 07, so guess what I'll be playing on the flight back to California?

And best of all, while I've been doing some coaching at the local youth leagues, the kids there are just worshiping me like I'm Carlos Bocanegra or something. It's awesome...maybe someday I'll be able to play next to him or Danny Califf or something.

As for Christmas dinner, Dave was a no-show again...said he was busy. Whatever, he's dead to me anyhow. Denton is the one in my life right now, and I just got off the phone with him. We've been talking on the phone every day since I've been back, and I really can't wait to see him again...I miss him.

Jake is doing well, too. Seems he's met someone in New York but wouldn't tell me any more than that...he thinks he'd be jinxing it or something, but at least he's happy.

Anyway, it's getting late. Merry Christmas!

San Francisco

Well, I'm back together with Denton...for now. Maybe it was the exam stress, but we somehow kissed and made up. I'm still a bit leery, but hey, I don't know if I'm ready to let him go yet.

Anyway, with Christmas coming and the semester over, I'm getting ready to head back to North Carolina for Christmas. It's been a while since I've seen the family, and I think seeing them will get me grounded again for the coming season.

So before I left, and since it's our three month anniversary, Denton took me down to his hometown of San Fran after my last exam. It's a beautiful city: the hills, the Cable Cars, the Golden Gate bridge...we tried to pack as many things as we could into one day, and it was AWESOME. Oh yeah, the gay district on Castro Street. I've never seen a gay village before, but for some strange reason I felt at home. I could hold hands with Denton and kiss him in public, it felt RIGHT...and it gave me feelings that being with Teri never gave me.

Good times... (Thanks Jake)
While he did try to get me to come out, I just shook my head and nodded. It's not a fight I want to go through right now, and really...I still don't want to. But why ruin the moment?

Oh, and first time ever, I ate beef stomach while at something called dim sum in Chinatown. Being a kid from the Carolinas, all I've ever known was chop suey...but now, I know a little more. Anyway, it actually tastes pretty good, even though it was like eating chewed bubble gum. Denton likes it a lot, but I don't think I'll be ordering it again any time soon...but this is definitely something that will creep the crap out of Tara when I tell her. But still, I've learned so much from Denton...maybe that's why I'm not ready to let him go.

As for my shoulder? Oh yeah, it still hurts like hell (even worse than the tattoo pain), but it's getting better.

It's over.

Denton and I fought again last night. We're done...or more importantly, I'm done with him. He's pushed me too far. I've got exams, and recovering from my injury. I can't do it!

I think I need a drink...

No Final Four...

One game. Just one game. We were so close to the Final Four, and we fucked it up...and in front of my mom and my two younger brothers Larry and Todd, too. They had driven to the game to see us win and head to the Final Four, but we screwed it up. Actually, no, I screwed it up. I had a chance to tie it with a dead ball strike and it went wide.

Oh, and I dislocated my shoulder sliding into a tackle. It's not the first time, but fuck it hurts.

Denton tried to call me all night, but I just didn't want to answer the phone. I just can't deal with him right now ever since he quit the Christian Club and came out to his parents. He's been telling me to do what Jake did and come out to everyone, and I keep telling him it's not that simple. I've got dreams...and being openly gay simply won't work.

Why can't he accept that it's not going to happen?